Communication is the key....

...And it's something we are both working on. Without it, you sink faster the a toy boat in a draining bathtub. We've had our battles with communication since we got married. Never anything major, just little things that were blow out of proportion. We wasted too much time not listening to each other.

In the short time since we started our transition to a Domestic Discipline and partial D/s marriage, our communication has gotten immensely better. Off the top of my head, I can think of one specific think I am personally doing that has kept me from over reacting to anything she might say. " As I have often said, for the relationship to work, both sides must respect the other to not attack and also to trust enough not to assume an attack."

I found that line written in a price about D/s philosophy written by a sub named Smiling Dancer on an angelfire website that hasn't been updated in years.

Anyways, back on topic. By attempting to remember that one line when talking to her, its much easier to talk. If I don't understand, I ask. A big thing is I do my best to not assume that I know said topic. With my wife attempting to do the same thing, it's become so much easier, communication is the key.


Pardon the typos! This blog is written on my iPhone and iPad.

Learning

Maturity is the ability to control my impulses, to think beyond the moment, and consider how my words and actions will affect things before i act. As most of us know, this is not always an easy task. By becoming more submissive I feel I am becoming more mature.

Control is very sexy. A man who is in control of himself, his life, and his surroundings is very attractive. It's attractive to me. It's sort of thrilling to have my husband in control. I think that it might not be power which attracts me but the control he seems to have over himself and me.

The more I try to become more submissive, the more I realize it is a personal journey. No one can decide my submissive limits but me. Discovering and learning to be submissive isn't a sudden change. It's almost like a process you have to ease into. The harder I try the harder it is. Hopefully it becomes easier as I become used to our new lifestyle.

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I've had a hard time adjusting to being disciplined for doing things that are against the rules. Not to say that I have a hard time abiding by the rules, just that I've never really had set rules to live by as an adult in my own home. I think the hardest part to get used to is receiving spankings. Maintenance spankings are obviously more tolerable than discipline spankings. However, more sever spankings, such as with a ping pong paddle will definitely take more time to get used to.

I think most of all I've noticed that even though the rules are set for me, they are benefiting the both of us. They seem to be setting a new tone in our home.

The hardest two rules for me to follow are swearing and blog posting. Swearing is just a hard habit to break, but we don't exactly want our young children swearing. Blog posting can be hard because life just gets so busy! But, everything is falling into place and I am getting used to everything slowly but surely.


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When life gets in the way..

So the one thing I'm noticing is that sometimes life gets in the way. I find it hard to punish my wife for failing to stick to a certain rule when I know she was busy with everyday things, work and school from sun up to sun down. Does anyone else have that problem?

What we are trying now is in the cases of like getting in the way, I give her a choice. Generally one is the spanking for failing to follow the rules, and the other choice is an extension of sorts with an added task. We are going to try this and see how it works for us.


Pardon the typos! This blog is written on my iPhone and iPad.

Takes some getting used to

The further my wife and I get into the DD life style, we find things that do and don't work for us. So far its just little things for the most part, but one of the bigger things that's had both of us thinking is exactly how far we want to take it.
On some blogs, the wife seems to leave the husband in full control of nearly every aspect of their life. We don't have a problem with that, it's just not what we want. I don't think either of us want me in complete control. We've adopted many other aspects that have already helped out on our marriage. Mainly the rules posted in a previous post. While I hold her responsible to these rules, I find that I've benefited from them too.

As she adapts her behavior to follow the rules, for example our no swearing policy, I find I've drastically cut down on my swearing too. As her attitude has become more polite and respectful (not just towards me, but also in general) I find that my attitude has started to follow suit. I think this fact alone is what's making us both easier to communicate with. I like it to be honest. I think we've both been happier since we've started.

Anyways, feel free to check out my wife's blog too.
My New Life

Learning Submission

Being submissive for me is not a 100% activity. There are parts of me that cannot be fully submissive. If there were no children involved in our lives it would be easier to be fully submissive. That is not to say I would trade our children for anything in the world. Part of me wishes that I could be more submissive for him. Though, I am not sure how submissive he would like me to be. We are still figuring out the things we would like to add to our lives. Even in the short time we have started implementing rules and me being more submissive, our relationship has already changed. Communication between us is getting better. The bond between us is getting stronger. I am hoping that this is the direction our relationship continues in. He means the world to me and I want nothing more than to make him happy. Our relationship and marriage is still young and 20 years from now I want us to have a relationship that is strong and our children admire and want to have.


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A New Way of Thinking and a Set of Rules

My husband and I came across "Domestic Discipline" while researching transitioning our relationship into a more dominant/submissive relationship. Right now we are more or less "testing the waters" to see what does and does not fit into our lifestyle. This, of course, can be a challenge considering it can reform parts of your marriage. There are a lot of decisions to be made. What is the dominant person setting as rules and punishment? What is the submissive (in this case, myself) willing to accept as rules and punishment? Speaking for the submissive person, it revamps a lot of your ways of thinking.

Research seems to be the best tool for us right now. We read some and then when we have time together we discuss what we have read and come up with our own things to set into our lifestyle. After much research we have agreed to a set of rules. We will change, delete, add as we decide or as he sees fit as he has final say. They have been put into place as of today and are as follows:

1. No spending from the checking account of any kind without prior discussion or permission.

2. You must send a picture as requested, as soon as requested.

3. Punishments must be completed as discussed prior to it's start.

4. Make the bed before leaving the house for the day.

5. Make sure P's work clothes are laid out for him every night before bed.

6. Keep a semi-daily journal (i.e. Blog) (at least 3 times per week)

7. P has the final say and authority on any and all subjects we cannot agree on (non-family related)

8. Do not argue or talk back.

9. Make sure not to have to be told twice to do something or not do something.

10. Make sure to not have to be reminded about any assigned tasks.

11. Do what I'm told, when I'm told, without question or argument.

12. No cursing under any circumstances.

13. Knee length nightgowns are to be worn to bed.

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