Insecurity is something that I have always struggled with. So much so that being asked to pick only one to overcome is hard. However, I was asked to pick one lol. Something that has affected me my entire life is my fear of driving people away from me. No matter what I do I seem to lose those closest to me. It has happened so often that I fear it will always happen. I know that it affects my marriage and I have gotten a lot better. I know that he loves me and it is an unrealistic fear to have at this point. Sometimes in life there are just things that you cannot make go away. For me this is one of them. I know that often times it takes a while for wounds to heal. For me it has taken a long time for me to know that I am not unworthy of being happy. I do deserve to be loved, and I am. Often times it can be hard to explain to other people how someone, like myself, who has so many positive things in their life could think they would eventually lose everything that is near and dear to them. The closest person to me is my husband. I have never loved someone so much. Obviously love for children is a different love. My husband has changed and affected my life positively in so many ways. Though we haven’t been together as long as other couples who have been through some of the thiings that we have, I cant imagine my life without him in it. Some people would think that is stupid. But to me, that is how you know you are loved. And for me, that is how I know I am safe. I know that I don’t have to worry anymore. I know that everyone else was just the wrong person, because I needed those people to leave my life to find the one person that was supposed to come into it. I guess that’s how I overcome that insecurity.
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