In a rutt

I am still having a hard time learning to be submissive in some areas. I read a blog that explained how I was feeling almost exactly. "no matter how much they want to be a submissive, you are both fighting a lifetime of social norms and millenia of cultural information. Women and men are raised to act a certain way, and this can be seen throughout history." I feel like this is so true. I am fighting the way I have always been. Not only as a person but as I have been in this relationship. Though, it is a change I want to make...it seems like you reach a point that you can't cross over from. Like when you are losing weight and you go a month or two without losing a pound and then voila! I just hope I make some progress soon.

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Importance of Research

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Communication is the key....

...And it's something we are both working on. Without it, you sink faster the a toy boat in a draining bathtub. We've had our battles with communication since we got married. Never anything major, just little things that were blow out of proportion. We wasted too much time not listening to each other.

In the short time since we started our transition to a Domestic Discipline and partial D/s marriage, our communication has gotten immensely better. Off the top of my head, I can think of one specific think I am personally doing that has kept me from over reacting to anything she might say. " As I have often said, for the relationship to work, both sides must respect the other to not attack and also to trust enough not to assume an attack."

I found that line written in a price about D/s philosophy written by a sub named Smiling Dancer on an angelfire website that hasn't been updated in years.

Anyways, back on topic. By attempting to remember that one line when talking to her, its much easier to talk. If I don't understand, I ask. A big thing is I do my best to not assume that I know said topic. With my wife attempting to do the same thing, it's become so much easier, communication is the key.


Pardon the typos! This blog is written on my iPhone and iPad.

Learning

Maturity is the ability to control my impulses, to think beyond the moment, and consider how my words and actions will affect things before i act. As most of us know, this is not always an easy task. By becoming more submissive I feel I am becoming more mature.

Control is very sexy. A man who is in control of himself, his life, and his surroundings is very attractive. It's attractive to me. It's sort of thrilling to have my husband in control. I think that it might not be power which attracts me but the control he seems to have over himself and me.

The more I try to become more submissive, the more I realize it is a personal journey. No one can decide my submissive limits but me. Discovering and learning to be submissive isn't a sudden change. It's almost like a process you have to ease into. The harder I try the harder it is. Hopefully it becomes easier as I become used to our new lifestyle.

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I've had a hard time adjusting to being disciplined for doing things that are against the rules. Not to say that I have a hard time abiding by the rules, just that I've never really had set rules to live by as an adult in my own home. I think the hardest part to get used to is receiving spankings. Maintenance spankings are obviously more tolerable than discipline spankings. However, more sever spankings, such as with a ping pong paddle will definitely take more time to get used to.

I think most of all I've noticed that even though the rules are set for me, they are benefiting the both of us. They seem to be setting a new tone in our home.

The hardest two rules for me to follow are swearing and blog posting. Swearing is just a hard habit to break, but we don't exactly want our young children swearing. Blog posting can be hard because life just gets so busy! But, everything is falling into place and I am getting used to everything slowly but surely.


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When life gets in the way..

So the one thing I'm noticing is that sometimes life gets in the way. I find it hard to punish my wife for failing to stick to a certain rule when I know she was busy with everyday things, work and school from sun up to sun down. Does anyone else have that problem?

What we are trying now is in the cases of like getting in the way, I give her a choice. Generally one is the spanking for failing to follow the rules, and the other choice is an extension of sorts with an added task. We are going to try this and see how it works for us.


Pardon the typos! This blog is written on my iPhone and iPad.